ABOUT THE BOOK
WHY AM I HERE?
About
WHY AM I HERE ?
MEMOIRS OF AN ADDICT
Why Am I Here? is a plain-spoken memoir about what it takes to stay when leaving would be easier. Cyril M. Scovens, M.S., MAC, LCADC—an Addictionologist with three decades clean—traces a path from a violent childhood and early substance use to the day an exit plan failed and honesty began.
This isn’t a recovery fairy tale. It’s the daily work: meetings and mentors, boundaries and paperwork, apologies and follow-through. Page by page, Cyril shows how discipline, not drama, turns survival into a life.
Before recovery, there was noise—fists, fear, and the urge to disappear. These pages follow the making of a fighter who didn’t yet know how to stop.
A failed goodbye becomes a first “yes” to inpatient care, meetings, and showing up one day at a time. This is recovery without the fairy tale—discipline over drama.
From boundaries to daily checklists, these are the simple, repeatable actions that make change stick—for people and for programs. No jargon, just what works.
WHY AM I HERE ?
SYNOPSIS
Born unwanted and half-finished, Cyril Scovens learned to survive long before he learned to live. Why Am I Here? is a blisteringly honest memoir of a boy forged in violence, a teen fluent in rage, and a man who tried to die and failed. From Baltimore streets to a fluorescent-lit NA meeting on August 15, 1995, Scovens discovers a quieter kind of strength: showing up, one day at a time.
Thirty years later, he is an Addictionologist, a father, and a builder of people, proof that discipline can do what miracles cannot. This is not a recovery fairy tale. It’s a field guide to staying when leaving would be easier: tender, unsentimental, and fiercely alive.
